Bad All Over

I've been at my boyfriend's house all weekend and no matter what I do I feel like I am always shot down by his father, spoken rudely to by his little sister or having to witness a horrible family. This family doesn't know how to treat one another and it just makes me feel heartbroken all over the place. His dad has a cacophony of swear words that are always planted in the beginning, middle and end of every sentence he utters. His sister doesn't give a rat's ass about anything but herself and complains about every little detail that she dislikes or doesn't understand. She doesn't have any sense of respect for anyone and always talks with an attitude no matter what the situation or moment in time.  God I hate being here way way WAY more than I like it. I don't even know why I bother the hour and a half drive sometimes if I have to deal with listening and witnessing such a horrible family.. It drives me to tears.. just like right now, All I was trying to do was help construct a marinade for a pork loin dinner and everything I suggested was shot down by my boyfriend's father with, "don't have it", no matter what I said.. "don't have it", and last night even.. He threw a fit about having to help with dinner, "I'm so f*cking tired of this sh!t", when he had to only watch the hamburger patties grill! Big freaking deal!! You have to make sure they're not over cooked. Be happy you have meat to grill in the first place, dude. I know you're not well off to begin with but still.. have a little sense of decency at least.. and his sister. There's always a nasty mess of dishes covering the entire dining room table because no one washes what they use after they're done with it and so it was put all on my boyfriend's sister because she doesn't do anything to help in the first place and I asked if she was going to do it last night and she said point blank, "nope", and so I said that we wouldn't be able to eat dinner on the table if she didn't clean it up. The response was snooty and stuck up: "Well then I guess we won't be eating on the table then, will we?" I wanted to slap her across the face for that. Add on top this morning's little fiasco... she is so incredibly rude it's been taking all of my will power not to shove her down into a chair and chew her out for all the crap she pulls every other minute of every day. I don't want to be here anymore. I wish that this family would learn how to be nice. I mean, come on! They even treat their dogs like crap! Sandy, the basset hound is an annoying animal who doesn't shut up and pee's all over the floor if she doesn't get what she wants, and Jake, he's in the way quite often and doesn't listen.. my boyfriend's parents make it worse by yelling at them to move or to STFU and that just makes the dogs act even worse. Then after treating the animals like they're not worth anything at all, his parents snuggle them and tell them how cute and wonderful they are. Bi-polar much?! I just want this weekend to be over with.. I want to go home and not have to deal with anything that goes on under this roof here in the crap town of Finely... I can't even tell anyone how absolutely lucky I am to have the family I was born into. Respectful and loving parents who love to cook and spend time with their kids, they hardly swear even under the worst situations and always make sure everyone is treated well, even the animals. It's going to be a very long time before I come back here. I am always driven to tears and annoyed beyond belief when I go to my boyfriend's house... I hate being here so much. I am always trapped in his room trying to ignore the screaming, yelling, barking with whatever I have brought with me.. I know there are issues in this household, there are issues in my own, but a family should be happy.. Not hell. 

Let's go with a dark purple-type color today... I am currently at the JC right now with nothing better to do but blab about virtually nothing and respond to messages on social networking sites. Fun stuff right?! .. Very much wrong.. Ugh. Nothing to talk about. 

Peace

Utterly Shattered

Today my confidence is utterly shattered.. Last week I took two tests on Wednesday, both of which I thought I did exceptionally well on. I got them both back today. I got a low scoring D on my government exam and I completely bombed my math exam. I am so just completely done with confidence! It seems like every time I feel even remotely confident in anything I try to do well on I fail miserably.. no matter what the hell it may be. Nothing.. be it a math class, dressing well, losing weight.. NOTHING!!! I feel like such a failure it's not even funny. Everything seems to go the exact opposite of the way I want it to go or it just doesn't happen at all. I can't even find a freaking job! It seems like all I can manage to do right is sit in bed reading novels all day to the point where my ass goes numb. There's no one to be with except family, and even then.. little brother is always off doing something with some friends and my father figure is always off at work and I only see him four hours out of the day.. if that. Since high school ended for me there's been close to no friends in or around my life whatsoever and sure, I have a boyfriend, but the only time I see him is in class twice a week and maybe fifteen minutes after our classes get out. Not to mention he lives two hours away in Lakeport and that's close to a nonexistent place as it is. No friends, not much in the way of family time unless it's in the kitchen and I'm failing as a student. How the hell can I fix this..   :'(

So I have been recently looking up possibilities for my 2012 Halloween pumpkin and I've narrowed it down to these ones..

(The Frankenstein one or the one below it)

Which one??

Today is worth a sigh

I think I'll write in green today. I have roughly an hour before the choir sectional I have to attend, so I thought I'd kill time in the library at my favorite spot on the 4th floor of the JC library in back of the elevators. This weekend was awkward. Dad was gone, my boyfriend was there, everyone was tired and almost everyone under the roof's tummy felt strange at some point in time. Both a lot of sleep and hardly none at all happened over the weekend. For example, lets take last night versus Saturday night. Saturday night was strange dreams but I slept most of the night.  Last night consisted of my cat Kelso yowling at the top of his lungs and banging himself against every bedroom door in order to try to get someone up so he could be let outside and then be let back inside after a half hour so he could eat, and then repeat the process over and over again.. lovely night, yes? NO! >:(  It is really an unpleasant experience.. I don't know if I should have eaten that half a deli sandwich 20 minutes ago. 1) there were onions on it, therefore my breath is atrocious.  2) my stomach has been upset (on a scale of 1-10 it's been about a 4.5-5 all day).  3) it was a lot of food.. But at least I feel better than I did during my math class. My stomach hurt, my bowels weren't happy either, and then I had the ultimate case of the shakes and being massively cold. I'm glad my body decided to get over that.  Oh great, I have someone sitting next to me. That's just what I need right now. I'd really appreciate some alone time with no one within a 30-foot radius. That plus a good book would be amazing right now. I have a half hour to kill now, so what to do, what to do. How about nothing! I can mosey my way around to the music building and hang out there until it's time for the rehearsal. Sounds like a plan Stan. Stan? I don't know a Stan. Oh well. It rhymed so I'm not complaining. Ugh.. I get home close to 8 pm tonight because the rehearsal goes until 5:30, but then the bus doesn't come around until a half hour later and so that's 6:15 ish .. it's not an express so I get home at what the SC Transit website says should be 7:40 pm. Yay. -_-,  *sigh*.. Time to start walking. 

Peace.

I Thought Wrong

I found out today that someone who I thought was a pretty good friend wasn't who I thought he was. It wasn't a happy discovery to say the least. He decided to test my morality in order to get to a question that he has been wanting to ask me for I'm guessing over a year now; If I'd done anything to upset the long distance relationship I used to have with him. The conversation started out normally with hello's and whatnot, but then it took a twisted turn when he asked for things that I'm not willing to send to anyone. I am in a wonderful relationship, he seems to be in a nice one too so I was utterly flummoxed by the change in conversation. Why would he want something of that nature from me when he's got a beautiful girlfriend who he's been dating for quite some time now? It got to a point where he was almost begging for things from me and so I gave him all of my reasoning and he dropped the question then. Men are ridiculous. Excuse me while I go puke. He's still angry at me for something that happened my senior year of high school.. Am I that horrible of a person? =/

-Halo

Unaccompanied Today

Well would you look at that.. No boyfriend unit to be with today. Oh well. It's life right? Today is my long day with three classes; American government, choir and math. It sucks not having any friends here other than my boyfriend and a couple choir buddies who are most likely in another music class at the moment. Yay. And my best friend is always up to her nose in theater crap and has no time for anyone or anything except her theater crap. Lovely right? Anyways. So I am sitting in the library with a too-hot-to-drink large caramel late with an extra shot and a rumbling stomach. I should have grabbed a fork while I was down in the cafeteria because I have pesto in my backpack but I am unable to eat it at the moment. Fack. I think I am going to see if there's a fork in the little cafe area here in the library..... Yes. Food is now settling down in my tummy. Happy Days =] But still today so far hasn't quite been the best. It took all of my will power to get up this morning. The shower felt great, but it didn't last long enough for me. Then I had to deal with Kelso (cat) all throughout eating a bowl of cereal. He wanted some.. which was frankly, quite annoying to say the least. He wouldn't get off my heels about it. So the cereal tasted awesome (honey bunches of oats always tastes awesome) but that didn't last long in my stomach (as you can probably tell by my eating this very moment even though I ate at 6:30). So it's 10:00 AM right now as I type this, now 10:01.. and that means I've only got another 15 minutes to kill before I need to mosey my way over to my American government class. The bus ride this morning seemed to take forever even though I was 3/4 asleep a good 99% of the time. And now my boyfriend is too sick to show up to school. Lovely day. Mmmmmm... extra shot good for me right now. Oh I suppose I should read the Declaration of Independence now so I don't have to worry about not having read it later during class.

Peace.

Summer

Wow it has been quite some time since I've logged on to this site and actually used it or written any kind of blog. My mistake.. Well to do some updating, summer is over as of yesterday. My classes this semester include political science 1 -which is American Government-, concert choir, concert band and intermediate algebra.. again. I didn't do so well last semester and so I'm retaking it. I really hope that I do well this semester. The only problem is that my teacher, although pretty cool, likes to call on people for answers and so that part I'm not very fond of. I really don't like being put on the spot and I hate being wrong out loud. So add those two things together and its massively embarrassing to me.. *sigh*.. oh well, it's something I'll have to learn to do I suppose, yes? Anyways. Update continued: the first four fifths of summer was really slow and boring on my side of the spectrum because I did not go out, no friends were around to hang out with and I wasn't lucky enough to be hired by anyone. So very slow and boring-like, except the swimming every Tuesday and Thursday with a couple cousins. Then some family came up from down south and things started to kick up some. We went swimming, had a BBQ, celebrated some birthdays and then things got quiet again. But later on in late July I got a phone call from a cousin and we set up a camping trip down in San Luis Obispo which was definitely an adventure to say the least. There was amazing food, interesting photos and some alcohol too. People got a little tipsy here and there but no major drunkenness. There were a few little spats between my brother and I along with a cousin and everyone else there, but that is something that's almost unavoidable with the different personalities. Our road trip down south consisted of 8 people at one point. I was the one driving down to LA (very long trip.. I ended up with one hell of a migraine but thank goodness one of the cousins who attended is fabulous at giving massages and so he got rid of the massive pain I got from driving 7 and a half hours straight) but I was thankfully not the driver back home. It was quite a journey.. So we went to 6 Flags Magic Mountain, I ended up losing my wallet down at a BJ's Brewery that night, and then the next 4 days were dedicated to the camping portion of the road trip. We drove to my dad's work to drop off some of the camping gear, drove home, took showers, looked longingly at our beds (I'm speaking about just my brother and I here) and then drove back down to San Rafael to go camping for two more days. Lovely right? So the first night of camping with just my immediate family was great. The second night.. not really so much.. The second day consisted of my dad's company picnic down at the camp grounds. The picnic part was fine, but the camping portion after it wasn't so hot. There was a large group of people who ended up at our site and they wouldn't shut up. I went to bed at around 9:30 pm and didn't fall asleep until a little past 2 in the morning because they were so loud. I had to tell them to GTFO of the campsite if they were going to continue to talk because I'd been trying to sleep for the past 4 hours. Fun right? NO. So the camping finally ended after 7 straight days of it and then I got to finally sleep in my own bed. Huzzah! :D it felt fabulous being back home in my own bed to say the least. Being back home and relaxing was great and then I went off to my boyfriend's house for a couple days which was a nice getaway from sibling rivalry (little brother unit and myself still weren't getting along too well) and then school started yesterday.. today I have band and math. I'm excited for band. I haven't played really more than a couple times in the last few years since I've been out of high school and so I'm going to be really needing to work out my chops.. they're going to hurt for the first couple months of this semester for sure because they're massively out of shape... As is the rest of me... Time seems to be going by really slow.. I started this entry at 8:45 this morning and it's 10:15 now. All that I've been doing is writing this blog, doing random things online and playing a game on my phone where me and someone else are given words and we try to draw them and then the other person has to guess what it is.. a lot like pictionary. There's also another hour until my boyfriend gets out of class.. my own starts at noon. I think it's just time to putz around online for the remainder of my time out of class..

Peace.

Homework, Liars and Little Brothers

You know what I really don't like at all? The whole title for this post. Especially if the homework has to be writing a speech about someone I don't know or math that I don't understand, if said liars are former friends that I used to know like the back of my hand, and if my little brother is rude to my parents, and is absolutely completely conceited and won't take in any consideration for anything or anyone else no matter what the situation. 

Razor Burn = No Bueno

Oi Vey, razor burn hurts quite a bit. So do people burns. Those aren't fun either. At the moment, I'm sitting in the library as per usual, waiting for my boyfriend to get off work so we can go to our choir rehearsal tonight, which I am not so stoked about.. I already know the material and just want to go home where I can hear the rain on the roof while eating a fabulous dinner, do the studying I need to accomplish in order to pass this freaking math class and then pass the hell out when I'm done... just to wake up tomorrow morning to go to a freaking swim class that only lasts about 45 minutes and then take a bus home and then I can have the pleasure of going to a Giants game in honor of my mother's birthday. Ugh, I don't like the cold. Especially with razor burn on my thighs. It's prickly and hurts all at the same time. I go to scratch it and that makes it hurt even more. Oh joyous effing day for effing sure. I also don't like my math class. I mean, I'm glad I got into the same level of math that I left off on in high school even though I took two years off, but I really don't like how overly complicated my math teacher makes it all seem. And that just adds to the never ending headache of college GED and transfer requirements.  It makes things so much more complicated in life due to the fact that I have a strong feeling I am going to flunk this math exam I have next Tuesday and it's really not fun knowing that. Fack you logarithms and natural logs and inverses and other crap that is going to be in the test on Tuesday. It's not fair that I don't understand it. It's also not fair that my teacher goes over every section just one time and expects us to know it. I don't learn like that Mr. Utter! (Yes, that is my math teacher's name) Although you rock and are amusing in class with your wise-cracks and interesting way of phrasing things, I can't just learn by seeing you do it on the board once and then the homework.. I need it to happen over and over and over again in order for me to get it. I hate my brain sometimes. I wish I had a photographic memory, that would solve so many problems, you have no idea. *tear* ... add that to all of my life's problems and most would just dissolve. But life isn't that easy. Ever. For anyone. And I know death wouldn't solve anything.. it'd just make me feel worse wherever the heck I floated off too after my heart stopped beating becuase I'd feel ultra guilty for not outliving the family I've got and I'd want to kill myself all over again in the afterlife for making so many people miserable. I'm too much of a pansy to even come close to physically hurting myself on purpose anyways so it's not like that's going to happen in the first place. *sigh* I just really wish something in my head would just click and I'd hit some sort of enlightenment for math because I just don't understand it. Yeah sure I get the basics and can do most of beginning algebra and geometry, but beyond that I'm royally screwed to the wall, blindfolded with on ever-lasting powerful stream of ice water and gagged with a dirty sock that's been sitting in a dumpster for three years when it comes to understanding math.... I should be getting a text here in a minute saying that my boyfriend is done working for tonight and that means I need to get off this blog thingy and go to the music building portion of this campus. yay. -_-, Not stoked about the majority of life at the moment.. including my two minute trek from the library to the music department in the mist which will just make me colder than I am now and that means I'm going to have to sit and pseudo practice for a couple hours until my music director is satisfied in the music we're going to be singing. Eff-yeah baby. Totally NOT stoked. I yearn for home, not vocal sessions.

-Halo (insert irritated face here)

Reality Sucks Sometimes -_-,

Really quick post and update of life's events this past couple weeks.
    - Boyfriend unit moved down to Santa Rosa - it was the logical thing to do since he's working and going to school here - but the boss unit for his second job (taking care of a mentally disabled person) was a complete bee snatch, sh!t-face, manipulative, rude woman (if she can even be called that at all...) Basically she's a monster who only has that job of being the main care-taker of that guy because it's the only job she can actually get and doesn't quit because she has control over someone and loves every minute of it. Crap hit the fan and so he quit the care taking job and got out of there as fast as humanly possible, which was great. But in the process I was called a b!tch and a wh0re. Not a fun situation to get involved with...
    - I embarrassed the crap out of myself by choking on a speech that I presented on the 24th and I just wanted to cry because it was so humiliating.. I knew the material and still messed up so badly that I had to ask to take a moment to compose myself becasue I was so nervous I froze.. and to boot there's an impromptu speech that I need to give today, not looking forward to that one bit. =/


Time's up.. peace..

Slow-Type Dayyyy

My seat is quite the uncomfortable one =/ ... Oh well, there's nothing that can really be done about it and plus I'll be heading out of the library in about 15-20 minutes anyways to go get something to munch on =] I am truely happy about the idea of food, cause it's been a good 5 hours since I've had anything solid hit the pit of my stomach. At least I have amazing food to look forward to: short rib stew. Excuse me while I go drool for a moment.... - 8 minutes later - ... still drooling, but really bored. I'm not so stoked about my math exam that's happening on Thursday, (wow, the guy that passed me was really unattractive.. obese, pouty fish lips, beady eyes and he dyed his hair the blondest blond you could get. WTF?) and I am not happy about the speech class I am taking in general because 1) I don't like the teacher all that much  2) The class is not fun  3) It takes me WAY out of my comfort zone on multiple levels 4) Ew.. just ew.  =/ It's almost as bad as my music history class. The only good thing about it is the fact that I got a free ticket to go see the American Philharmonic of Sonoma County in concert last saturday.  But then it also sucks because of the fact that there's a paper due on it.. bleh. I'd rather just go to enjoy, not go to write down what I hear.  Anywho, I've got about 5 ish minutes before it's time to go munch on the sandwich I made this morning: cream cheese and jam.  Really yummy in comparison to what Stephanie Plum eats occasionally, which is all of the food that she generally has in her home: a sandwich made of wonder bread, peanut butter and either pickles or olives.  Nasty, yes? I sure as heck think so. Well, I think that I am going to mosey my way to the print room of this floor of the library to go hole punch some graph paper so I can use it in my binder for notes in the future, slime down the stairs and make my way out to the silver sculpture/statue thingy that looks like it's got "pi" on the top of it.. yippe.

Peace, love and all that jazz..
~Halo

Tumble Time

I am writing in red today because of the fact that this is the color that my face was for the first three quarters of my morning.  In other words, I was highly embarrassed for the majority of the first 6 hours that I've been awake.  Here's the scoop: Dad said that he would take me to my bus stop, and we were running a bit late as it were.. I missed my bus and tried to catch it via dad pulling  up to the back of the bus and me running to try to get on. Don't do that. Bad decision on my part because the bus started to take off when I was at the front door and the driver didn't see me. I tripped off the curb of the sidewalk and ate sh!t, as well as the bus's rear tires almost ran over my legs. Scary right? I'd sure as hell say so. Not fun in the least bit. So, I fell hardcore and limped back to my dad's car, and he drove me past the bus and to a stop that it'd be going to later. I was a mess, emotionally as well as physically, but I made it. I was in tears because of being so mortified that I fell and both my hands got scraped up and I'm developing a gnarly, huge bruise on the right side of my thigh that spans the length between my hip and knee. I discovered that it was this long when I went to sit down in my math class and everything in that area hurt like a mother-trucker.. still does when I move at all. I also have a bruise on my right forearm which isn't nearly as bad, but still isn't pleasant in the least bit. So if you ever miss a bus, get ahead of it and wait that extra 10-20 minutes so you're not in a bad predicament such as what I've experienced this morning. Yay pain. -_-,

Coffee?!

So I am aware of the fact that it's been one heck of a long time since I've last posted, a couple months almost, and to whomever may be reading this or following this blog of mine, I apologize for my lack of postage. -_- ... Anywho. As for an update on my life, nothing really has been happening as of late, except the occasional spontaneous thing done with le bou of mine like rush back to where he is currently living to grab our bathing suits which he forgot there, and barely make it on time for our swim class.. that one was fun. Or there was the time where we rushed to get our speeches done in time right before they were due. Exhilerating if I do say so myself. There's not really much anything that I've been doing differently since my last post on here, just going to class all the same and doing a crap load of homework that takes up the majority of my time at home. The only things that I really can talk about and sound interesting at the moment are that my dad is all the way over in Tennessee at the moment due to his job. He told me that he drove past the "King of Rock's" house on the way there when he drove from Little Rock, Arkansas.  Cool right? I miss him like crazy though. He is coming home Thursday which is good.. oh wait, that is tomorrow! ^_^ yay. That made my whole day a lot better. Something that really did not help this morning was the fact that as I was walking from a local (and delicious) coffee shop with my spicy non-fat mocha in one hand and my umbrella in the other (it's pouring outside. It has been raining non-stop since yesterday and is forecasted to rain until around the middle of the weekend), the mocha kept spilling over some and it eventually made it's lovely way to my white jacket and favorite purple silk scarf. Not happy about that one.. but it is a yummy coffee. Speaking of this morning, I shall jump to earlier on.  I kind of gave up trying to sleep at around 5:30 and decided to get up and work slowly. It was nice having an hour and a half to get ready instaead of 45 minutes, but I really don't like having to be stealthy like that for that long to try and keep everyone else in the house asleep until it's really their time to get up. Oh well.. Now I'm rambling. Back to the only things that I really can talk about and sound interesting at the moment. I told you about dad two thirds the way across the country, I spoke about the rain, the annoying but delicious coffee.. ahh.. yes, my next topic: my little brother is going to be on his way to L.A. later on today and will be gone until late sunday night. It will be gloriously quiet in the house.. no more of that sh!t death metal, screamo, never-ending techno (that just goes on and on and on doing the same thing over and over and over...) and (C)rap that has no actuall meaning behind anything pseudo-played or yelled. There will be also a wonderful lack of lack of respect and teenage rebellion.  Needless to say, the house will be quite peaceful and quiet without my little brother. Maybe it'll teach my parents to toughen up some with the dicipline. Especially including the shiny object that he's got in his hands almost every second of the day whether or not he's supposed to be doing something else. Quite annoying if I do say so myself. The last topic that I'll talk about today is spring break. It is next week, although I consider it to start on Friday when my swim class gets out. My family and I are going to Seattle, Washington. My parents want to take my brother and I because they had a blast when they went two years ago for their twenty-fourth wedding anniversary.  Not to mention they want to take us to have some fabulous food too :P  I am looking forward to the delicious sea food and decadent flavors that will be dancing around on my pallate. I am spending 6 days in glorious food heaven.

Well I suppose tis time to say goodbye for now, till next time..
Peace, love and all that jazz,
Halo <3

Sleep Deprived Day

As one can tell from the title, I am one sleep deprived woman. I don't know why I slept so horribly.. it could be the fact that the dreaded monthly cycle started yesterday and it was H. E. double hockey sticks all day long at school and on the bus because of the cramps and excessive bleeding and mood swings and whatnot. But it could be from other reasons too.. none of which I've actually realized yet though.  But once I got off the bus it seemed like everything got better.  Which normally happens anyways because it's not very fun to be crammed into a bus with 50 other people that you either don't know, they look atrocious and like a serial killer or rapist, they stink like way way way WAY too much cologne or perfume, or don't like very much because you got fed up with them in high school.  But yeah, once I got off the bus and walked home listening to epic music I was feeling much better.  Last night for dinner was lamb shanks, peas and a delicious risotto which I am eating as I type (photo at bottom of page).  Daniel, one of my dad's co-workers came over to have dinner with us and so we ended up having a great dinner and watching a bunch of funny YouTube videos for at least an hour after everything was cleaned up. So then I decided to go to bed.. I didn't fall asleep until around 1 AM, and then woke up at 2 thinking, "Oh my god I missed my alarm! I need to get ready!!"... so I hop in the shower and just as I'm finishing up rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, my mom comes in and asks what I'm doing because it's 2 in the morning.  I felt like a complete idiot.. so I went back to bed after I was done drying off and didn't sleep more than what could have been an hour because I remember looking at the clock every 20 minutes or so, therefore - sleep deprivation.  And it's not pleasant being tired and having to deal with the hormonal imbalance and pain and excessive bleeding of my womanly parts. O.o .. Time to get offline, le beau is out of class..

Peace, love and cramps.

-Halo-

RED

It's that time of the month.. the time when a woman's world is drenched in pain, light headedness and the color red. (Hence the title of this blog post). It freaking sucks like crazy.  And that was an understatement. The pain is incredible and it hurts to move in any direction, which makes life very difficult right now, especially since this semester I've got an aquatics class. Speaking of this semester, I've yet to talk about the classes I've managed to squeeze into my agenda. I have, like I mentioned two sentences ago, an aquatic fitness class, concert choir, classical music appreciation, math 155 and last but not least, a speech class. My swim class is ultra fun, especially because my boyfriend is in that class with me (he is in every class of mine except for my math class.. but that's only because of the fact that he's taking the highest math course that's available here at the JC and that's a million levels above me..). and it's also enjoyable because I can get a workout without the sweat, without the over heating, and I feel a lot more comfortable in the water. My choir class is great this semester because we will be singing some Morten Lauridson songs (one of which I've sung in high school, "O Nata Lux") and it's cool to know that my boyfriend is in choir with me and enjoying it even though he's not had any previous singing experience with choirs (or anyone for that matter). And it looks like he's having fun. Oh god the pain! I feel like someone is stabbing me in the right ovary with a paring knife! DX and now the pain is everywhere below my belly button and above my thighs. Yay for being female!! (AKA: FML) I am so not going to swim today. Man.. even my butt hurts. Well, it's time to start walking to my swim class.. I'm not looking forward to sitting in the bleachers for an hour watching people do (and enjoy) something that I love doing. It's about 20 minutes until the hour, but man, with this pain and being doped up on allergy meds it's going to take me a very long time to amble my way over to the pool.

Peace, pain and all the red in the world.
-Halo.

In Loving Memory

Rest in Peace, Lady.  You were a wonderful companion for the 10 years we had you. Died 12/12/11

Holy sh!t O_O

Oooookkkk.. so I guess in some cases dreams really do come true.. remember that mystery man I was talking about in my last post? Umm.. well, I had a dream, I was half asleep really.. anyways, I had a dream that I had been trying to get his attention specifically via internet and psyche-type messages. Not to mention that I was meditating and trying to do that before I fell asleep this morning at 1 AM.. So I meditate some, it doesn't feel successful in any way really, and then I have a half lucid dream of him.. and I wake up thinking "He came back...!" :O .. so I go check my facebook just for sh!ts and giggles to see if anyone had commented on the angel photo I posted (and commented on yesterday) and there was a comment about 3 hours old from him on the photo... he hasn't been online in several months, nor had I actually had a conversation with him for almost a full year. One could say that I am successfully freaked.

I Wish I Knew

Some people I've met are a complete mystery to me.  I want to know more, but there's no way to get in contact with said people at the moment.. and it's really bugging me =/  I really want to know! And there's one person in specific that I have in mind, though I wont mention his name, because I don't subject anyone to crap like that, exploiting their name and information on the world wide web.. That's just rude. Anywho, he is a complete mystery to me and I am completely fascinated by his very essence, his aura is captivating.  His everything seems magnificently powerful and mysterious.. dark and very very entrancing, almost to a frightening level.  But I feel like I need to (and want to) reach out to him because he is such a mystery to me  and I feel the need to know him. And through this I'll gain a better understanding of not only him, but myself too...