Let's go with a dark purple-type color today... I am currently at the JC right now with nothing better to do but blab about virtually nothing and respond to messages on social networking sites. Fun stuff right?! .. Very much wrong.. Ugh. Nothing to talk about. 

Peace

Utterly Shattered

Today my confidence is utterly shattered.. Last week I took two tests on Wednesday, both of which I thought I did exceptionally well on. I got them both back today. I got a low scoring D on my government exam and I completely bombed my math exam. I am so just completely done with confidence! It seems like every time I feel even remotely confident in anything I try to do well on I fail miserably.. no matter what the hell it may be. Nothing.. be it a math class, dressing well, losing weight.. NOTHING!!! I feel like such a failure it's not even funny. Everything seems to go the exact opposite of the way I want it to go or it just doesn't happen at all. I can't even find a freaking job! It seems like all I can manage to do right is sit in bed reading novels all day to the point where my ass goes numb. There's no one to be with except family, and even then.. little brother is always off doing something with some friends and my father figure is always off at work and I only see him four hours out of the day.. if that. Since high school ended for me there's been close to no friends in or around my life whatsoever and sure, I have a boyfriend, but the only time I see him is in class twice a week and maybe fifteen minutes after our classes get out. Not to mention he lives two hours away in Lakeport and that's close to a nonexistent place as it is. No friends, not much in the way of family time unless it's in the kitchen and I'm failing as a student. How the hell can I fix this..   :'(

So I have been recently looking up possibilities for my 2012 Halloween pumpkin and I've narrowed it down to these ones..

(The Frankenstein one or the one below it)

Which one??

Today is worth a sigh

I think I'll write in green today. I have roughly an hour before the choir sectional I have to attend, so I thought I'd kill time in the library at my favorite spot on the 4th floor of the JC library in back of the elevators. This weekend was awkward. Dad was gone, my boyfriend was there, everyone was tired and almost everyone under the roof's tummy felt strange at some point in time. Both a lot of sleep and hardly none at all happened over the weekend. For example, lets take last night versus Saturday night. Saturday night was strange dreams but I slept most of the night.  Last night consisted of my cat Kelso yowling at the top of his lungs and banging himself against every bedroom door in order to try to get someone up so he could be let outside and then be let back inside after a half hour so he could eat, and then repeat the process over and over again.. lovely night, yes? NO! >:(  It is really an unpleasant experience.. I don't know if I should have eaten that half a deli sandwich 20 minutes ago. 1) there were onions on it, therefore my breath is atrocious.  2) my stomach has been upset (on a scale of 1-10 it's been about a 4.5-5 all day).  3) it was a lot of food.. But at least I feel better than I did during my math class. My stomach hurt, my bowels weren't happy either, and then I had the ultimate case of the shakes and being massively cold. I'm glad my body decided to get over that.  Oh great, I have someone sitting next to me. That's just what I need right now. I'd really appreciate some alone time with no one within a 30-foot radius. That plus a good book would be amazing right now. I have a half hour to kill now, so what to do, what to do. How about nothing! I can mosey my way around to the music building and hang out there until it's time for the rehearsal. Sounds like a plan Stan. Stan? I don't know a Stan. Oh well. It rhymed so I'm not complaining. Ugh.. I get home close to 8 pm tonight because the rehearsal goes until 5:30, but then the bus doesn't come around until a half hour later and so that's 6:15 ish .. it's not an express so I get home at what the SC Transit website says should be 7:40 pm. Yay. -_-,  *sigh*.. Time to start walking. 

Peace.

I Thought Wrong

I found out today that someone who I thought was a pretty good friend wasn't who I thought he was. It wasn't a happy discovery to say the least. He decided to test my morality in order to get to a question that he has been wanting to ask me for I'm guessing over a year now; If I'd done anything to upset the long distance relationship I used to have with him. The conversation started out normally with hello's and whatnot, but then it took a twisted turn when he asked for things that I'm not willing to send to anyone. I am in a wonderful relationship, he seems to be in a nice one too so I was utterly flummoxed by the change in conversation. Why would he want something of that nature from me when he's got a beautiful girlfriend who he's been dating for quite some time now? It got to a point where he was almost begging for things from me and so I gave him all of my reasoning and he dropped the question then. Men are ridiculous. Excuse me while I go puke. He's still angry at me for something that happened my senior year of high school.. Am I that horrible of a person? =/

-Halo